2013: Reflections and Resolutions

Posted by Lashings of Ginger Beer Time

Last week we gave you a retrospective of what we’ve been up to in the previous year - this week, we’d like you to join us in some more personal reflection on the year behind and the year ahead. What was amazing? What was dreadful? What do we most want out of 2013 - as artists, as activists, as Lashers and Lash-friends? What will we let go of with a sigh of a relief, and what will we pursue with all the tenacity of a terrier hanging on to its favourite chew-toy?

A motley crew of Lashers respond below to a number of questions sent round - we’d love to hear your thoughts on our answers, or your own responses to the questions.

The high point of 2012?

George Osbourne being booed at the Paralympic medal presentation for for Men’s T38 400m. This communicates a lot of things to me, but the thing it showed to me was a pretty good demonstration of the lack of confidence in the current government. That crowd spoke for a lot of people not in the stadium that day (Teddy Bishop).

I was ecstatic when they announced the Democrat victory in the USA - the alternative was almost too horrible to contemplate. While Obama certainly isn’t perfect, the prospect of a Romney-headed America was genuinely chilling. Also, there were actual real-live queer women, disabled women, and women of colour elected to positions of power - amazing! My personal favourite was Mary Gonzalez, who identifies as pansexual and has spoken publicly about genderqueer identities. -Orlando

I’d say the high-point of 2012 for me was doing my first Lashings show. It was incredibly last minute and I had to learn the words during the preceding acts but it was a lot of fun and I’ve loved performing with Lashings since then. -Sasha Rocket

The low point of 2012?

The proposal to re-form Disability Living Allowance to the new Personal Independence Payment, effectively making yet another difficult and often unreasonable application process as a front to effectively reducing social welfare provisions and effectively make life unlivable for many disabled persons. (Bishop)

For me, the failure of the Church of England to agree on how to bring in women bishops was an unexpected low point for feminism - Isadora (Jenni agrees here!)

It’s hard for to pick a low point from a year that has been, in many ways, a constant drip-drip-drip of awfulness. Two constant sources of distress and dismay were the Tory attacks on the disabled and/or jobless, and the seemingly never-ending stream of disgusting comments about rape to emerge from the Republican party. -Orlando

Your favourite bit of activism from 2012?

Feminists coming together to denounce the transphobic entry police of RadFem2012 made me smile and squee. And had the conference not been cancelled, there was going to have been an amazing teach-in going on outside... -Orlando

Not as world-changing as some, perhaps, but the WorldPride 2012 Asexual Conference was a pretty big deal - it’s the first time something so major has happened, and it’s exciting that we’re now at that stage. - Jenni

The best ( or most impressively non-oppressive) bit of pop-culture you engaged with this year?

The game Mass Effect 3. Not just a story I find amazing (disappointing ending notwithstanding). I had a chance for my male protagonist Commander Shepherd to start a relationship with a man (Steve Cortez), after ending things with the genderless blue telepathic alien from my Mass Effect 2 game save. I don’t know how many games can say that and still be blockbusters. Nothing personal Liara T’Soni. Also a neat highlight of the game was the relationship between the artificial intelligence EDI and the mobility-impaired human pilot Joker. Sci-fi sextastic (Bishop).

The scene in Skyfall where James Bond can be seen to have said he’s bisexual. - Isadora

Strangely enough, Brave - I was very happy to have a film with the focus on a mother/daughter relationship, with both of them being genuinely strong characters (not the strong-flawless type) and to lack a romance subplot too! - Jenni

I don’t think there’s any one particular piece of mainstream pop-culture that I can think of from this year that I’d describe as ‘impressively non-oppressive’ but over the course of the year, I have been noticing a much higher ‘base level’ of engagement with feminism in a lot of pop culture. Parks and Recreation is an awesome show that is explicitly feminist (because Amy Poelher is just the best) and I think, particularly with Tina Fey and Amy Poelher hosting the Golden Globes, there’s a bit of a reversal of that whole ‘women aren’t funny’ nonsense. There are even some corners of the internet where this seems to be the case - can anyone imagine this article by Luke McKinney being posted on Cracked a year ago?

Something awesome you learned/discovered?

That I can be an influence on others! I’m used to thinking about other people who inspire me, but I have, to my astonishment, found out that the things I care about and take action on have been inspirational to some people I know this year. - Isadora

I came out as bi to my very religious mother at the end of 2011 and she’s since started talking about women with me in a way that is both weird and lovely. So I’d say I discovered a new aspect to my relationship with my mum. Also, that I’m more capable than I used to believe.

What was your 2012 Lash-career like?

I joined Lashings late in 2012 and joined in the protest to save the women’s library. I’m excited to newly be a part of Lashings! - Isadora

I did things I never thought I’d do: sung a cappella on stage, and even danced a little! As well as madcap travelling to gigs around the country, I’ve also been writing for Lashings regularly. I’m sad that circumstances prevented my joining the gang in Edinburgh, as I feel like my experience of Lashings can almost be counted in units of “Edinburghs”. I first met Lashings in Edinburgh 2010 (and ended up loving the show so much I saw them twice), and it was in Edinburgh 2011 when Annalytica first discussed the idea of my joining - so going and performing at Edinburgh 2012 would have been perfect. But onwards and upwards - hopefully I’ll be treading the boards in Edinburgh in 2013! It’s been an amazing ride so far - I’m so pleased to have finally joined. -Orlando

I joined Lashings this year and it’s been awesome. I’ve met really fantastic people and had a lot of fun. I’ve actually danced onstage which was surprising! Unfortunately, like Orlando, I didn’t get to go to Edinburgh with Lashings this year but hopefully that’ll be something I can manage in 2013. -Sasha Rocket

What do you want to see happen in 2013?

I'm looking forward to marriage law being equalised. For my younger (10-15 years ago) self this is a huge dream come true. I might not feel exactly the same about marriage anymore but this would have made my younger self’s year life.
In a more trivial area, as a dancer, I would love to see programmes such as Strictly Come Dancing have non-heteronormative pairings. It’s going to happen at some point. - Isadora

I am looking forward to (hopefully this year) seeing ‘Tropes vs. Women in Video Games’ a Kickstarter funded project by Anita Sarkeesian. This video series promises to address the sexist tropes that are present in games and gaming culture at large. Sarkeesian is famous for her highly enlightening Feminist Frequency series and the unfortunate hate campaign that followed when her latest project was announced. As a comic book reader, I would also like to see a better representation of female comic book characters with less sexual objectification following the ‘Hawkeye Initiative’ of Dec’ 2012. If the comic book writers can listen to fans and put meme jokes into the Deadpool serials, I would sure think they could listen about how objectification is damaging for audiences. Here’s to hoping for a less oppressive geeknerd culture (Bishop).

I’d like to tack my agreement onto everything that’s already been said but I’d especially like to see more non-faily pop culture and, like Bishop says, a less oppressive geekdom. -Sasha Rocket

^ Can I add in Escher Girls link, even though it’s been going longer? eschergirls.tumblr.com
I want to see more asexual visibility - we already had a massive surge this year, so it’s an exciting time for us! - Jenni

What do you want to MAKE happen in 2013?

Is it too optimistic to say 'bring about queer-feminist anti-kyriarchal utopia'? I guess so. In which case, keep on making safer spaces for the people who need them - and keep on working to change the world outside those spaces, one teaspoon at a time. -Orlando

I’m with Orlando here, but on a less optimistic scale - get the notion of ‘asexuality’ out there. And create a space for geeks that’s queer/female friendly (not at all a plug for Nine Worlds, I promise...) - Jenni

Every time I try to answer this question, my brain just keeps yelling ‘CHEESECAKE’ at me. So, I guess I want to make cheesecake happen in 2013. Plus, I’m really looking forward to certain lashplans that I’m also hoping to be involved in. -Sasha Rocket

What do you want to do in Lashings this year?

I’m pretty excited to newly be a part of Lashings. I’m looking forward to being in a pantomime. And challenging dance stereotypes as much as I can in any performances :) - Isadora

Keep on blogging! - Jenni

I might die of joy the first time Lashings performs a song I’ve written. (Sebastienne and Zim are both ready and waiting for the one I’m working on right now, but it’s still not complete...) Aside from wanting to write a lot of songs and sketches (and having grand ambitions of them becoming Lashings classics), I want to develop as a performer myself and become confident with a wider range of Lashings numbers. And of course, I’ll continue blogging - I have quite a few topics lined up! -Orlando

I’m hoping to get better at dancing as that’s something I feel less confident about, and I want to write stuff. -Sasha Rocket

… so those are the thoughts of some Lashers on the year behind and the year behind. How about you?

Lashings' Icons: Gail Simone

Posted by Jenni

Welcome to the first post in a series of irregular Lashings posts about people we think are awesome. Whether they're an activist, an artist, or a little-known historical figure, we ove them, and we'd like to introduce them to you. So, without any further ado, let's take a look at our first icon - Gail Simone, a comic book writer.

This week, I'm going to talk about one of my favorite people. Gail Simone is a comic-book writer, who has worked for Marvel and DC, as well as helping out on smaller independent projects like Womanthology. Why is she an icon of mine? Well, let's take a look through the things she's done, shall we? (Most things discussed in this blog entry will have links at the bottom of the post for clarification).

The Friend Zone

Posted by Jenni

The 'Friend Zone'. *cue dramatic music here*

Let's face it, most of us have heard of the friend zone. It's a big enough part of internet culture that it's hard to avoid. If you've been lucky enough to avoid it, take a quick look over at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_zone for a bit of background. But why write about it now, you may ask? Some of you may be aware that I did an article a while ago for the BBC on being asexual (find it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16552173). Why's that relevant? Well, once again, this article has been used to make a meme, saying that being in an asexual/non-asexual relationship is 'the ultimate friend-zone'.*

Of Labels and the Notion of 'The Other

Posted by Jenni


One of the most common arguments I see regarding asexuality is “Why does everything need a word?”


Whilst there are many people who could identify with a label such as gay, queer, or similar, but choose not to, the fact remains that a lot of people who have non-heteronormative sexualities, and non-standard gender identities use labels. And so there must be a reason for it.

Comments on Consent (Based on the BBC Article on Asexuality)

Posted by Jenni

[Trigger Warning: Sexual assault, rape, violence]

As some of you may know, I recently appeared both in a TV program on BBC3 and in a linked article on their news website. Most of the response I've had has either been positive, or curious, but here I'm going to discuss the negatives. (Oh, and the most common 'worry' I've had? “Aren't you worried if you're not out to your parents about doing that?” I'm sort of out – the program just exaggerated. I'm out to my mum, and she even watched the program, whereas me and my dad do not talk about sex. Ever. So it doesn't get discussed.)

Now I'll be clear here and say that these comments weren't all that common, but they still existed. Comments like “Oh, her boyfriend just needs to man up and make her have sex,” were the nicest. Seriously. Other such 'nice' comments included suggestions I was going elsewhere for sex and stringing him along, or that he would eventually cheat on me. The not nice ones? Well, that either the person in question would 'fix me' (often discussing how I 'wasn't half bad looking, bit boyish, but she'd still love it, right?) or that my boyfriend would just have to rape me. Yes, you heard that right. People suggested that having willingly gotten into a relationship with an openly asexual girl, done visibility with her about it and seemed pretty okay with it, the obvious ending to the story is that my boyfriend would turn into a rapist.

The reason these comments annoyed me so much is they don't just manage to be anti-asexual, virgin-shaming and misogynistic – they're also encouraging the view that men can't help their sexual urges, and it's only a matter of time before they have to act on them! Now, speaking as a girl, maybe I'm wrong? But no, I'm pretty sure that all of my friends are adult enough to well, have a minimum level of self-control. You know, not to decide 'I want to have sex with her, screw her feelings on the matter!'. Other comments linked to this included insults to his masculinity, suggestions he must be gay to be happy with the arrangement, or that maybe he was 'too pathetic'.

An interesting opposition to this is my brother's response to the program. My brother is a 'lad', of the most traditional sense – he likes drinking, going out with the boys, discusses 'fit girls' with them, etc. And his only comment on me and my boyfriend as portrayed in the program? “Fair play to him.” He actually appreciates the respect and understanding my boyfriend's role involves – it's not a slight to his masculinity, if anything, it highlights it in that he doesn't feel the need to prove himself.

Now, if you've actually read the article in question, you may notice that nowhere in it do I state whether or not I am celibate as well as asexual, so all of these comments come from assumptions. And these assumptions have led to the idea that it's not okay for me to force someone to be celibate for me, but it is okay for someone to force me to have sex. Now I don't want to argue that the former is okay – it's not – but neither is the latter. Both of these are unacceptable forms of acting in a relationship because they involve forcing someone to do what they don't want to do. Asking someone to do something is great, and if they refuse, then you need to have a good long chat and decide whether it's something you can compromise on – and if it's not, then force shouldn't ever be involved. It's also okay to break up if you don't think you can sleep with someone/can't be in a relationship without sex. It doesn't make you a bad person. Like with marriage, or children, or anything else important to someone – if one person considers something a necessity to a relationship and the other doesn't, and if it's something the two of them can't compromise on, then it won't work. And that's fine - you're allowed to end a relationship that won't satisfy what you need, and it certainly doesn't make you or the other person the 'bad guy'.

Consent isn't just important in sex – I've seen the discussed elsewhere that we have a culture that devalues consent. As a tee-total person, I experience it it elsewhere too:

“Go on, have a drink.”

“No.”

“Oh, why not, go on...” is quite a common conversation for me. The word 'no' is devalued in culture in general, and this obviously plays into consent elsewhere. Equally, with the drink conversation, I've had 'friends' try to spike my drink (Spiking water with vodka? Really? I'm not stupid.) to prove to me that alcohol is okay. Sound familiar? Whilst consent in sex is, I would argue, the most important place for consent to be valued, it needs to be valued all the time – the word 'no' needs to mean something. I'm sure that most people (I know I've done it myself) have done the 'come on, do x' 'no' 'oh go on...' conversation with someone, and I know for one that the responses to my article have inspired me to stop. Even the little things -
"Are you coming the pub tonight?"
"No, I don't want to."
"Aw, why not?"
"I'm just not up for it."
"Oh, come on."
"Rather not."
"Pleaaase..."
- sound innocent enough, but once we stop taking 'No' at face value (yes, maybe asking for a reason is fine, but they don't have to give you one, but once the answer is no, that's when you stop) here, we stop it elsewhere.

Anything that's a minority - like being tee-total and a student - is bound to get this, so if we look from this small example to the bigger minorities, we find that yes, as expected - a minority saying no is often valued less than the majority. As with my example - an asexual saying no to sex isn't taken seriously, and it becomes a problem that needs to be fixed. This can be these case with lesbian women too - the assumption that the 'no' is meaningless and a bit of hetero-sex will fix them - and I'm sure other people would have examples of this happening in other ways.

The point of this then? Even those of us who value consent in sex should look at how we value consent elsewhere, because the less the word 'no' means in society, the less it means in specific, important situations. And the less it means in those situations for those of us who aren't hetero-normative. I'm not sure if other people find it the case, but I find it easier to call out someone pressuring someone to go to the pub than I do to get into a discussion on rape culture - but I like to believe that at least, in doing that, I'm trying to emphasis the 'no means no' point for a potential future conversation.

"But...that doesn't happen, right?" [TW: Sexual harrassment/assault]

Posted by Jenni

Since I started blogging about feminist and queer subjects, I've noticed there's one negative response I get more than most. It's not a complaint, or an insult regarding my stance, but rather, disbelief that I still think these things are important to discuss. And it's never in a malicious manner, but rather, genuine puzzlement as to why certain issues are still relevant.

My favourite examples are often to do with my comments regarding a film - "But why does it matter that the girl doesn't do anything? It's not about her!" (Gee, I dunno - maybe it's the fact that there aren't exactly many films about 'her' outside of romantic comedies?) or perhaps "Why does it matter that the gay character got killed? It wasn't because they were gay, duh!" (I'm not even going to explain why that one annoys me.)

On the Sexualisation of Women in Fiction

Posted by Jenni



Before I begin this post in earnest, I would like to draw your attention over here (warning: possibly NSFW (lots of drawings of women in not very much clothing at all): http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/09/22/starfire-catwoman-sex-superheroine/#ixzz1YifXb88y

Whilst, yes, it’s another post about comics (I just really like comics…) but it’s one of the clearest examples I’ve seen discussing the problems of sexualising women characters. If you don’t have time to read it (though I highly suggest you do!) skimming the pictures will help, since I will refer to the characters as examples throughout. The main thing I want to discuss in this post is simple – the difference between a woman acting in a sexual manner, and a writer/reader sexualising a woman problematically, and how this then plays into ‘real life’.

Just for those of you who might not be able to see the pictures, some quick descriptions of the type of image can be found at the bottom of this post.

Asexuality and Celibacy

Posted by Jenni


I guess I should start with the main point of this post, and that’s:
ASEXUALITY =/= CELIBACY




Asexual people are physically capable of having sex. Seriously, you’d be amazed as to how many people doubt this. I’ve been asked whether being asexual means I look like a Barbie doll, y’know, ‘down there’. I don’t, but thanks for your concern, I guess? It’s got nothing to do with how I’m built, but rather, it just means I lack sexual attraction.

Women and Comics (The Positive Side!)

Posted by Jenni

Warning: this post is link heavy!

I recently wrote about women and comics, and it seems that I’m writing on that topic again. The reason? Since my last article, something pretty amazing has happened, and that’s a project called Womanthology.

Okay, here’s the point that I admit I’m pretty biased, being involved in the project myself. But that’s beside the point. I figured I’d show a contrast to the negativity of my previous article, and some of the steps that are being taken.

On Being A Christian

Posted by Jenni

Today, I’m going to discuss something I’ve mentioned in passing before – the fact I’m a Christian. This is a very important part of my identity, and it’s also the part that gets questioned most – even more than my being asexual. You see, to many people being Christian, queer, feminist and liberal is a contradiction. I’m not going to go into lots of detail for you all, and I’ll try to keep the bible-talk to a minimum (references will be given if you want to look up the verses in question), but I’m just going to share how the Christian part of my identity fits in with everything else. And maybe give you a view of a Christian you might not have seen before.

On Comic Books (and X-Men: First Class)

Posted by Jenni

On Women and Comic Books

[Spoilers for X-Men: First Class]




This post began life as a discussion of the problems with the new X-Men film from a female perspective, but I quickly realised my canon-love showed through a bit much. So here’s an attempt to convey why comics have the potential to be a potent tool to get new ideas through, and why the lack of development in this direction bothers me.

Erasure and Identity

Posted by Jenni

This post began life as a discussion of the ‘I’m-more-oppressed-than-you’ game. There’s been a spate of posts on various sites recently discussing whether asexuals have a ‘claim’ to the queer community, and one argument is that we aren’t oppressed in the same way. Rather than argue this out, I’d much rather share with you my experiences of one particular kind of oppression, one I’m sure many of you are familiar with – erasure.

Choosing Not To Have Sex: Why The Big Deal?

Posted by Jenni

As anyone who read my last post will know, I'm asexual.

(Recap time, boys and girls, and those others inside, outside or somewhere in between that binary! An asexual is someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction. Simple, right?)

My aim today is to give you a brief glimpse of some of the difficulties I encountered whilst beginning to identify as an asexual feminist. These opinions may be of the few, but they were a vocal few, and it made it pretty hard to reconcile those two labels for me at first.

Asexuality (or 'How I'm NOT an amoeba!')

Posted by Jenni









So, where to begin? I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Jenni, I'm 20, I study Philosophy and Theology, I enjoy writing, acting, reading, baking, sewing, generally crafting, I like dying my hair fun colours, I'm a geek, I love comics, and...oh - I'm asexual. That's right. Asexual. And not like a plant (awesome as that would be, it's not biologically possible for me. Sorry to disappoint you.) So what does it mean? Well, to summarise a label that's still coming into it's own as best I can - I am not sexually attracted to anyone. Yes, that's right - I don't experience sexual attraction. And just to answer some of the most common questions this gets me in a nice, easy to read list:

• Yes, physically I am perfectly fine.


• Yes, my hormones are all fine.


• Yes, I can experience arousal.


• Yes, I can have relationships (I am a romantic asexual)


• No, I was never sexually abused.


• No, I am not just 'celibate' - that is a choice, this is an orientation.


• No, I am not frigid


• No, I am not scared of sex


• No, I don't need to meet 'the one', thank you.


• No, having sex with you will not change my opinion.

There's probably more, but as you can see - asexuality is not something that's often understood. It took me until I was 18 to work out there was a word for what I was, and that I wasn't broken - all of my friends would talk about how 'hot' someone was, or how they would so 'do that'. And I just didn't get it. It wasn't until I found AVEN (http://www.asexuality.org/) that I realised I wasn't the only one who didn't. Of course, it's now two years later, and I'm trying to get the word out there - I currently vlog for Hot Pieces of Ace (www.youtube.com/hotpiecesoface) who are a fantastic bunch.

I'm aware asexuality is a new idea for a lot of people, so I'm not going to go into too much detail this time round (leave me questions, I'll answer as many as I can on my next post or in the comments!) but I'll quickly tell you something important - we can be romantic! For me, romantic attraction and sexual attraction are separate things, and I only experience one. For some sexuals, they may be linked completely, but I'm sure you can imagine cases where you experience one apart from the other, right? That's basically how it works. Now, for me, this means that if I was in a romantic relationship with someone sexual, I would quite probably have sex. This is because I am indifferent to sex, and since I'm in physical working order, it'd probably be quite enjoyable. I just have no active desire to try it for it's own sake. For some aseuxals, this isn't the case - some are repulsed by the notion of sex, and others just don't fancy it. We're all different people after all.

So, that's my mini-introduction, more next time! I'll leave you with some of my fictional role models who can be read as asexual.

Sherlock Holmes - yes, yes, you slash fangirls, him and Watson are clearly meant to be. But you know, that doesn't exclude his asexuality. Since the Moffat and Gatiss BBC version came out, we've had an influx of younger aces (that's a common term for being asexual) being like "THAT'S WHAT IT IS." Sherlock has been very good for us as a community - people have looked up things about his orientation, stumbled across asexuality, and voila! Everything makes sense.

Sheldon Cooper - when asked "what's his deal?", the response was "I don't think he has a deal." You can't really get much more asexy than that, right? And, whilst there is the fact Sheldon is potentially Aspergers - you would not believe how often it's assumed that 'causes' asexuality, when in fact the two are separate things - the writers are good at never directly linking the two.

The 11th Doctor - Moffat seems to like his asexual characters (and we're not complaining!) Whilst different incarnations of the Doctor vary, Matt Smith's portrayal is particulary ace friendly - he is completely, wonderfully oblivious to sexual advances, and seems positively confused by them.

So, they're the big three - there's more, but I'm keeping this short and sweet and hoping for questions. Ask me anything you want!