So, where to begin? I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Jenni, I'm 20, I study Philosophy and Theology, I enjoy writing, acting, reading, baking, sewing, generally crafting, I like dying my hair fun colours, I'm a geek, I love comics, and...oh - I'm asexual. That's right. Asexual. And not like a plant (awesome as that would be, it's not biologically possible for me. Sorry to disappoint you.) So what does it mean? Well, to summarise a label that's still coming into it's own as best I can - I am not sexually attracted to anyone. Yes, that's right - I don't experience sexual attraction. And just to answer some of the most common questions this gets me in a nice, easy to read list:
- Yes, physically I am perfectly fine.
- Yes, my hormones are all fine.
- Yes, I can experience arousal.
- Yes, I can have relationships (I am a romantic asexual)
- No, I was never sexually abused.
- No, I am not just 'celibate' - that is a choice, this is an orientation.
- No, I am not frigid
- No, I am not scared of sex
- No, I don't need to meet 'the one', thank you.
- No, having sex with you will not change my opinion.
There's probably more, but as you can see - asexuality is not something that's often understood. It took me until I was 18 to work out there was a word for what I was, and that I wasn't broken - all of my friends would talk about how 'hot' someone was, or how they would so 'do that'. And I just didn't get it. It wasn't until I found AVEN (http://www.asexuality.org/) that I realised I wasn't the only one who didn't. Of course, it's now two years later, and I'm trying to get the word out there - I currently vlog for Hot Pieces of Ace (www.youtube.com/hotpiecesoface) who are a fantastic bunch.
I'm aware asexuality is a new idea for a lot of people, so I'm not going to go into too much detail this time round (leave me questions, I'll answer as many as I can on my next post or in the comments!) but I'll quickly tell you something important - we can be romantic! For me, romantic attraction and sexual attraction are separate things, and I only experience one. For some sexuals, they may be linked completely, but I'm sure you can imagine cases where you experience one apart from the other, right? That's basically how it works. Now, for me, this means that if I was in a romantic relationship with someone sexual, I would quite probably have sex. This is because I am indifferent to sex, and since I'm in physical working order, it'd probably be quite enjoyable. I just have no active desire to try it for it's own sake. For some aseuxals, this isn't the case - some are repulsed by the notion of sex, and others just don't fancy it. We're all different people after all.
So, that's my mini-introduction, more next time! I'll leave you with some of my fictional role models who can be read as asexual.
Sherlock Holmes - yes, yes, you slash fangirls, him and Watson are clearly meant to be. But you know, that doesn't exclude his asexuality. Since the Moffat and Gatiss BBC version came out, we've had an influx of younger aces (that's a common term for being asexual) being like "THAT'S WHAT IT IS." Sherlock has been very good for us as a community - people have looked up things about his orientation, stumbled across asexuality, and voila! Everything makes sense.
Sheldon Cooper - when asked "what's his deal?", the response was "I don't think he has a deal." You can't really get much more asexy than that, right? And, whilst there is the fact Sheldon is potentially Aspergers - you would not believe how often it's assumed that 'causes' asexuality, when in fact the two are separate things - the writers are good at never directly linking the two.
The 11th Doctor - Moffat seems to like his asexual characters (and we're not complaining!) Whilst different incarnations of the Doctor vary, Matt Smith's portrayal is particulary ace friendly - he is completely, wonderfully oblivious to sexual advances, and seems positively confused by them.
So, they're the big three - there's more, but I'm keeping this short and sweet and hoping for questions. Ask me anything you want!